Albania's Lek Gang Beats Up Tourist Euro

A shocking scene unfolded in Tirana yesterday afternoon as protesters drew up plans to overthrow the government. The police had just arrested the crime coordinator, and the tension was palpable. According to eyewitnesses, a group of Albanian lek banknotes, primarily consisting of 5,000- and 10,000-leke denominations, surrounded a lone euro and began beating it mercilessly.

A 5,000-lek note allegedly grabbed the euro by its corner and shouted, 'Who are you, coming here and competing with us?!' The euro, bruised and wrinkled on both sides, attempted to explain that it had only come for tourism but was met with indifference. Nearby, a dollar took advantage of the distraction to slip away, muttering, 'Today she, tomorrow me. Why should I bother with the lek?'

The Swiss franc stood by, observing the scene with a camera and declaring that it would store the footage in a safe. The British pound kept its distance, adjusting its collar as it said, 'It's not our problem. We left the EU.' A Turkish lira attempted to intervene on behalf of the euro but was trampled underfoot by two 2,000-euro bills.

The eyewitness then called the Bank of Albania, only to be met with a recorded message stating that all operators were busy stabilizing the exchange rate. The author demands immediate action from SPAK and security cameras on every corner where foreign currency circulates. They also call for a parliamentary commission to investigate the violence against the euro.